


Pessimistic

by ToxicPineapple



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: (Kirumi might be aro ace), (bro what even is their ship name), (it's left ambiguous whether they're dating or whether they're pals), (sort of), Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Background Kaito/Ryoma, Background Kirisaba, Background Kirukiyo ???, Background Naehiro, Background Ougoku, Background Sonanami, Background Tsumangie, Banter, Developing Relationships, Established Relationship, Fluff, Gift Giving, Healthy Relationships, Hope's Peak Academy AU, Hugs, Humour, Kisses, Light Angst, Light Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Platonic Relationships, Saihara Shuichi's Abandonment Issues, Valentine's Day, also me: writes this fic, background kaemaki, background tenmiko, jewelery, me: it's unrealistic that everyone in the class would be dating each other, no killing game au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:27:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22733281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToxicPineapple/pseuds/ToxicPineapple
Summary: He’s not… upset, per se, that Rantaro isn’t here today. Not in the way that Kaede thought he would be, at least. Dates and special occasions mean a lot to Shuichi in theory but he’s never been the type to get caught up on specifics. Would drive himself crazy if he was, dating someone like Rantaro. He doesn’t mind when things are a little off center, just a bit imprecise, so long as they happen eventually. And as much as Rantaro is easily distracted, and even a bit of an airhead at times, he’s not unreliable. He comes through in the end.(Just late, sometimes. Oftentimes. It’s alright. Shuichi has plenty of experience with tardiness.)It doesn’t even bother him seeing his peers celebrating the holiday together.---Rantaro is out of town on Valentine's Day. That part is fine by Shuichi. There are other things that aren't.
Relationships: Amami Rantaro/Saihara Shuichi, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 47





	Pessimistic

Shuichi slips into class just before the bell, taking his spot between Kaede and Kaito with an apologetic smile in Chisa’s direction. She averts her gaze, exaggerating a sigh, and he can’t help grinning slightly as he takes out his binder.

“You’re in a good mood,” Kaede remarks brightly. “Did Amami give you something?”

  
“Ah, no, he’s still in Australia for another week, remember?” Shuichi replies; he doesn’t feel bad talking despite the bell ringing because Chisa is doing something up front, and so a light buzz of chatter has filled the room. He places his binder neatly on the desk and takes out his pencil, along with his eraser, before giving Kaede a sideways glance. “Naegi stopped me on the way to class, though. Passing out platonic chocolates. He asked me to give you one, actually,” Shuichi pauses and slides his hand into his pocket, pulling out the tiny red heart (that probably had like, three truffles inside) Makoto asked him to give to Kaede that morning.

“Ohh, I didn’t know you two were friends!” Kaede exclaims with a smile. “We’re neighbours, did you know that? His parents invited us over for dinner when he got accepted into Hope’s Peak two years ago. Aww, he remembered that I like caramel,” she adds, peeking inside the box. “What a sweetheart, I’ll hug him later.”

“You’d kill him,” Shuichi hums, idly.

Kaede puts the chocolates to the side and turns to face him fully, and so Shuichi pays better attention, because he figures he knows what she’s going to say. “I can’t believe you’re really so okay with your boyfriend being out of town on Valentine’s Day,” she pouts a bit. “I’d probably be crushed! I know Amami has important things that he does on his travels,” she hastens to add before Shuichi can say so, “I just thought you’d be a little disappointed.”

“Well, it isn’t as though he didn’t give me any notice,” Shuichi shrugs. “We have plans to go out when he gets back, I understand.”

“You’re so understanding,” Kaede sniffs, and Shuichi gives her a wry smile, his brows raising; is she really complaining? Laughing at his incredulity, Kaede reaches out to swat the side of his head and he breaks into a laugh of his own, ducking away from her hand. “I’d be in a sour mood all day.”

“Fortunately,” Shuichi pauses for dramatic effect, “your girlfriend isn’t the kind of person to pick up and leave school all the time.”

“Yeah, uh-huh,” Kaede pouts. “And she likes  _ dark chocolate.  _ You and Maki and your terrible taste in sweets.”

“Dark chocolate is good,” Shuichi says indignantly. “Milk chocolate is too sweet-- it’s practically just sugar, that’s all you’re eating for the amount of cocoa they put in it. Why call it chocolate at all? It’s sugar, Akamatsu, sugar.”

“Bold words from the guy who unironically drinks black coffee,” Kaito coughs on Shuichi’s other side.

“I don’t need to hear this,” Shuichi huffs. “Just because you have a sweet tongue that could rival Ou--”

“If you say his name, I will literally ki--” Kaito begins.

“Uh, the insinuation that someone like Momota would be able to tolerate more sweets than me is Oumaphobic and I’ll see you in court,” Kokichi calls from across the room. He’s not in his actual desk right now, but has instead stolen Gonta’s spot. Gonta, like the polite and caring boyfriend that he is, is standing to the side with a skeptical smile on his face. Kokichi should really move.

“Oumaphobia is my favourite kind of phobia,” Himiko mutters. Tenko chokes on a drink of water she was taking next to her, being one of the few people close enough to actually hear her. (Kaede grins as well, though, because she has a musician’s ear and was thus able to pick out Himiko’s voice over the din.)

“Are you making fun of me?” demands Kiibo; rightfully so, as Kokichi is almost certainly making fun of him.

“Why, Kiiboy, I would never do such a thing!” Kokichi says: a lie.

“You’re being played by a guy who uses grape soda as lubricant,” Miu warns Kiibo after a pause likely taken in an attempt to tell if Kokichi is being sarcastic or not.

“It’s called Panta!” Kokichi snaps, as though Miu’s use of the words  _ grape soda  _ is the most outrageous thing about that statement.

They squabble on, and Shuichi finds it in himself to tear his eyes away, since Kaito has been pretty safely removed from the interaction by now, and is thusly focusing on Ryoma, who is reading a large book about space that was most likely his recommendation. Shuichi turns his entire body back around to face Kaede, who has been watching the argument (argument?) with amusement for some time now. She seems to sense his gaze and straightens her back, paying attention right away, as though expecting him to speak.

“Anyway,” Shuichi clears his throat, and speaks somewhat quieter this time, to avoid intervention from their classmates. “Do you and Harukawa have plans for today?”

A more bashful smile creeps across Kaede’s features. “I’m taking her to a music venue that I played at once. Uh, I won’t be performing this time, but I’ll, y’know. Be taking her. And maybe they’ll let me sneak backstage and play a song for her on the piano. It’s not  _ really  _ necessary, though, if I want to play for her we can just head to the auditorium, or my lab. Or even my house.”

“You’d like to play for her there, though, right?” Shuichi asks.

“Well,” Kaede flushes a little. “The acoustics are phenomenal! Sue me. Besides, I think Maki would really like it, the vibe is… you’d have to be there to understand. I’ll take you sometime if you want, just--”

“Not today?” Shuichi guesses, a bit wryly. Kaede gives him a sheepish look. “Akamatsu, I’m slightly offended by the insinuation that I’d even accept an offer from you to date-crash. I third wheeled for a very long time when you and Harukawa were flirting. I don’t need to put myself right into the crossfire.”

It seems as though there’s something that Kaede wants to say to that, a tease perhaps, but Chisa calls the class to attention then, and so the two of them both turn back to the front of the room. There is some shuffling from the back, presumably Kokichi either returning to his seat or taking his typical spot in Gonta’s lap, and then class starts… somewhat. Chisa seems to sense that they have no hope of doing anything even vaguely academic today, and so she brings out origami paper and gestures for people to come get some.

Kaede puts a hand on Shuichi’s shoulder as she passes, saying that she’ll grab him some paper, and so he remains seated as the sound of chairs squeaking across the floor fills the room, as well as a light chatter once again.

He has a pretty good idea of what she was going to say, naturally. They aren’t best friends for nothing. She was going to say something about Rantaro’s continuous absence from class, and how Shuichi would third-wheel so often if Rantaro wasn’t absent so much. Which is a totally fair statement, in his opinion, but he’s still kind of glad Kaede got cut off, because he wouldn’t have liked to hear it, quite frankly.

He’s not… upset, per  _ se,  _ that Rantaro isn’t here today. Not in the way that Kaede thought he would be, at least. Dates and special occasions mean a lot to Shuichi in theory but he’s never been the type to get caught up on specifics. Would drive himself crazy if he was, dating someone like Rantaro. He doesn’t mind when things are a little off center, just a bit imprecise, so long as they happen eventually. And as much as Rantaro is  _ easily distracted, _ and even a bit of an airhead at times, he’s not unreliable. He comes through in the end.

(Just late, sometimes. Oftentimes. It’s alright. Shuichi has plenty of experience with tardiness.)

It doesn’t even bother him seeing his peers celebrating the holiday together. When he passed Makoto in the hall this morning, Makoto had a bouquet of flowers in his hand with Chihiro’s name on it. He knows that Kyoko is planning a surprise of sorts of Mukuro, since it sort of accidentally came up when they were working on a case together the other night. Shuichi gets on well with Chiaki, as well, one of the third years, and it is his understanding that she and Hajime have plans.

As for his own classmates? Kaede and Maki are dating, of course, and Kokichi and Gonta, but being just innocuous enough to be trusted by the bulk of them, Shuichi knows that Kaito has chocolates in his room for Ryoma; Miu has been stressing over what flowers to get for Kiibo for weeks (since she can’t very well get him chocolate); Angie and Tsumugi have plans tonight as well, though Angie was perhaps being intentionally vague when she told him about them; and naturally, Himiko and Tenko are even more attached at the hip than usual.

(Kirumi and Korekiyo get on well, but when it comes to the nature of their relationship, Shuichi isn’t sure as to the specifics. He suspects they’re spending the day together regardless, though that might be more as a result of them being the only people in the class not seeing anybody. Which is fair, as Shuichi strongly suspects that Kirumi is of the aromantic, asexual variety. She snorted when he asked her if she had any plans for Valentine’s Day. He could have misinterpreted her derisiveness, though. Maybe she thought it an obvious question.)

Perhaps it should bother him. Seeing everyone else celebrating.

Back in elementary school, Shuichi’s aunt used to pick him up from school, but since his uncle had to use the car to get to work, she would take public transportation, which often meant she came somewhat later than the time she was supposed to arrive. He didn’t blame her for it or build any resentments, it was just that when his aunt took so long to arrive it meant he saw all these other kids leaving the school with their parents. Holding their hands or being carried on their backs. Chattering brightly about the days they had-- or else acting haughty and superior, as though they didn’t want to be seen around the people who raised them. Like they were embarrassed.

And Shuichi would like to think that he was never petty enough to be jealous, or worse,  _ spiteful  _ towards those other kids, but that would be a lie, to put it simply. He spent a good amount of third year glowering around at the kids who purposefully distanced themselves from their parents. They had no idea, they really didn’t, what it was that they had, that they weren’t appreciating like they could’ve been. If Shuichi’s parents had wanted him-- well, if Shuichi’s parents had wanted him, he supposes now that he would have been just like those other kids. But at the time he thought he would have loved them more openly. He knew what it was like not to have them around, after all.

He isn’t bothered, though, that’s the thing. Not by everyone else’s joy, at least. It’s nice seeing people receiving chocolates and flowers, buzzing with excitement about their plans for the evening, or else sighing about being single and going to the store in a couple of days for candy sales. Shuichi likes holidays. They can be a bit impractical in some ways, but they’re nice. And with all the same sex couples in the school, it’s been funny watching everyone struggle to decide who should do the gifting on Valentine’s Day and who should do it on White Day. It’s such a heteronormative holiday in Japan. They make it fun at Hope’s Peak, though.

What’s really getting him-- and he ponders this at lunch over a couple onigiri packed with tuna on the inside-- is the fact that… he can’t stop wondering if he and Rantaro are actually going to do anything. Sure, Rantaro is reliable and he’s definitely going to return from Canberra at some point, but who’s to say that he won’t forget the holiday (and the promise he made in its regard) entirely? Or else he’ll remember, but decide he doesn’t want to participate? There’s a small box in the bottom of Shuichi’s sock drawer with a necklace in it that he got his boyfriend nearly a month ago, and he’s been waiting to give it to him for a while.

But if Rantaro suddenly decided he didn’t want to celebrate, isn’t a fan of Valentine’s Day or whatever, frankly, Shuichi isn’t sure that he’d have the backbone or even the desire to say anything about it. It’s just an arbitrary day of the year, labeled special by people who were here many many years ago and then harnessed by the corporations as something to profit off of. If he had more interest on the topic, he could always ask Korekiyo, since Korekiyo is knowledgeable about this kind of thing, and would probably explain it in a decently engaging way, but eh. He’s not, really.

It would just really really suck if things fall through, that’s all. Shuichi figures that the odds of that actually happening are pretty slim, considering the kind of person that Rantaro is, but still, they aren’t zero. And it’s just that that drives Shuichi crazy, the slight chance that something could go wrong. A high possibility he can deal with, because Shuichi would be lying if he said he’s not a pessimistic person. A high chance of failure means Shuichi will shrug his shoulders and accept it. He’ll throw the towel in from the onset. Nobody will get disappointed that way. Worst that could happen is that he’ll be pleasantly surprised.

A low chance of failure, though? Too much room for expectations there. Shuichi wishes he was the kind of person to be blindly optimistic. Just for a second, really. Just enough to have unwavering faith in somebody. Like Kaito, for example. Kaito picks people to believe in and then he just does. Doesn’t even hesitate. When those people make him promises, he grins and says,  _ Got it!  _ and then that’s it. He doesn’t doubt for even a second that they’ll keep it.

“Thinking lots of thoughts and feeling lots of feelings, huh?” Himiko asks from beside him. Shuichi glances at her. His plate is empty by now, just a few stray grains of rice left over from his onigiri, so he lowers his chopsticks to the table. “You look thoughtful.”   
  


Shuichi is glad that his resting face is on the more neutral, because otherwise Himiko would have seen right through him. “Ah-- yeah.”

“Cool. I’m thinking too.” Himiko closes her eyes, resting the side of her face on the table. Tenko and Kaito have gotten into an argument across the room and Kokichi is egging them on. Business as usual. Himiko doesn’t have the energy to deal with that stuff, Shuichi thinks. “I’m thinking that it’s sad that Amami isn’t here today.”

“He’s traveling,” Shuichi says.   
  


“Doesn’t that bother you?”

No, honestly, it doesn’t bother him at all. It’s one of his favourite things about Rantaro, actually. His accountability.

“Guess not,” mutters Himiko. Shuichi blinks. “Still, it’s sad. You must be lonely. We’re all, like, dating people and stuff.”

“We have plans,” Shuichi tells her. He drums his fingers on the table. “I’m not bothered. It makes me happy seeing you all getting along. Even if, uhm,” Tenko flips Kaito onto the floor with a loud thud. Shuichi watches Ryoma and Kirumi intervene. “It’s a bit unconventional.”

“She’s such a pain,” Himiko sighs, sitting up. “Better go restrain my girlfriend.” She slips out of her spot and shoots Shuichi a look. “Try smiling, it’s easier on your face.”

Honestly, Shuichi hadn’t been aware that he wasn’t.

After classes are over, Shuichi slips into his lab. There are a couple case files he still needs to look over, leftover from his session with Kyoko the other night, but if he has time he’d like to read one of the detective novels on the shelves in here. It’s remarkable how this lab managed to be tailored specifically to his tastes. They even have the most comfortable armchairs Shuichi has ever sat in before.

He makes himself a mug of hot chocolate (since it’s Valentine’s Day) and curls up in an armchair with a pencil and several folders in his lap. The remote for the fireplace (it’s an electric fire) was resting on the mantelpiece, but Shuichi grabbed it before sitting down. The fire flickers on and a yellow light fills the dark room. It’s a relaxing way to work. Shuichi puts the remote to the side and picks up his pencil, figuring that he might as well get to work.

The fire is very warm. A common characteristic of fires. Also warm is his hot chocolate, and the armchair is remarkably comfortable. The work on the case file is repetitive and bland. This case is fairly straightforward, which means all that Shuichi is doing is going through and making notes on the file.

The point of all of this is, Shuichi dozes off. It’s a perfect recipe for sleep. A warm beverage and a comfortable seat and repetitive work. He shouldn’t be all that surprised by it. His sleep is peaceful, dreamless, and warm.

A hand on his shoulder wakes him up.

It takes a moment for Shuichi’s surroundings to come back into focus. The first thing that crosses his mind is  _ but I’m so comfortable,  _ and then he shakes off the thought because whatever coherent part of his brain that actually exists right now is reminding him that whoever is waking him up probably has an important reason to. He blinks a couple times, lifting his head from his arm, where he fell asleep resting it, and when he finally looks up, meets a pair of green eyes.

“Ah!” Shuichi jumps, his back bumping the back of his seat. Rantaro laughs a bit at his surprise, straightening up (for he was leaning forward to shake Shuichi awake) and retracting his hand. Embarrassed, Shuichi manages a sheepish smile, but his heart and mind are both racing. Rantaro’s hair is flecked with droplets of water, and he’s still wearing his poofy winter coat. It can’t have been that cold in Australia, especially since they’re in the Southern Hemisphere which means it’s essentially summer for them right now, but perhaps it’s just cold outside. That makes sense; it is the middle of winter, after all. Though it’s getting closer to the end. “You surprised me,” Shuichi admits softly.

“I figured,” Rantaro grins. Absolutely shameless. He crouches down so that he’s at eye level with Shuichi, reaching out his hands, and Shuichi takes them. They’re pretty cold from the outside, and since it’s so warm in here Shuichi’s are actually toasty for once, so he curls his hands around Rantaro’s to heat them up. “My handbook said you’d be in here.”

“You stalk me with that thing,” Shuichi says scornfully. Rantaro chuckles unapologetically, and Shuichi loses any pretense of chastisement. “What are you doing here? You weren’t supposed to be back for another week.”

“That was the plan, wasn’t it?” Rantaro hums, leaning forward and resting his chin on Shuichi’s knee. “That kind of fell through, though,” and in response to Shuichi’s eyebrow raise, he adds, “I’m a victim of my impulses, Shu.”

“So you hopped on a plane?” Shuichi guesses with a smile, releasing one of Rantaro’s hands to slip his fingers through slightly damp green locks. (Rantaro’s eyes close momentarily and he tilts his head forward to provide Shuichi better access. Touch-starved baby. Shuichi isn’t going to deny him, though.) “You’re going to blow through your father’s money if you keep doing things like that.”

“Good. It’ll serve him right.” Rantaro replies immediately, his eyes shooting open. When they meet Shuichi’s though, they soften considerably and he murmurs, “I really wanted to see you.”

“And you couldn’t wait a week?” Shuichi doesn’t even know why he’s bothering saying things like this, he’s wanted to see Rantaro all day. No matter how okay with it he is that Rantaro has responsibilities to fulfill in other countries. (He thinks about his reminiscing earlier, how he used to scorn other kids for not appreciating their parents, wonders if this pretense of thinking Rantaro irresponsible or needy is the exact same thing. His hand stills in Rantaro’s hair and he swallows.)

A tiny frown appears on Rantaro’s face. “You alright?”

“Ah,” embarrassed, Shuichi nods. “I’m fine, sorry. Just thinking.”

“Hm.” Rantaro gives him a vaguely searching look, but seems to drop it. “Okay.” He straightens up again, shrugging off his backpack. It occurs to Shuichi to wonder about something.

“Did you-- just get here?”

“Yeah,” Rantaro grins at him, unzipping his backpack. “Took the bullet train.”

“You hate the bullet train.”

Rantaro shrugs. “It’s faster.”

“Ranta--”

“Here,” Rantaro pulls something large and black out of his backpack, pushing it into Shuichi’s hands and effectively cutting him off. “I didn’t have time to get actual wrapping paper so I wrapped it in, uh, well,” he smiles somewhat sheepishly. The thing he just pushed at Shuichi is evidently a sweatshirt, though this one isn’t a pullover like most of Shuichi’s, but instead has a zipper in the middle. One of the pockets is bulging, and he glances at Rantaro to give him a quick skeptical look before reaching for it. “It won’t bite,” Rantaro smiles.

Shuichi isn’t necessarily surprised when he pulls out a small, blue box. The type that would hold a ring, or a necklace, or something. He bites his lip and opens it, but can’t help himself from laughing when he sees a necklace inside with a shimmering golden chain. How fitting.

“Is something wrong?” Rantaro asks. He doesn’t sound nervous, only confused, and Shuichi covers his mouth with a hand, trying to figure out how to articulate his amusement without spoiling what his own present is.

“Nothing,” he replies finally. “It’s just-- you’ll see later.” He hooks his index finger around the chain and carefully extricates it from the box. His fingers shake on the clasp so Rantaro reaches out to do it for him, and goosebumps rise on Shuichi’s neck where Rantaro’s hands brush against it. The charm at the end of the necklace is simple, a golden flower encrusted with pretty white gems. It hangs over his heart. Shuichi wonders if it would be a safety hazard to sleep in it. He reaches up to catch one of Rantaro’s hands before he can retract it, looking over and meeting his gaze. “It’s lovely,” he whispers.

“Well, I’m glad to hear that,” Rantaro says. “I got it a few months ago but couldn’t figure out the right time to give it to you because I had already gotten you a different--” he breaks off when Shuichi leans forward and kisses him, and Shuichi feels his arms encircling his waist. He smells like the outside, like the musk of the street and the plastic-y smell of airplanes, but beneath it is his more familiar smell, trees and a faint wisp of aftershave.

“Thank you for coming back,” Shuichi whispers against his lips. “I was--” he’s tentative to let on that he was anxious in the first place, because he knows Rantaro feels guilty a lot about how anxious he is all the time. “Uhm, nevermind, I--”

“I get it,” Rantaro cuts him off quietly, resting his forehead against Shuichi’s. “It’s not like I’m around all the time. I’ve been told I’m both unpredictable and emotionally unavailable. Neither of those qualities is very good for any kind of stability.” He grins when he says it, his tone light rather than actively self deprecating, but Shuichi still frowns at him.

“This,” he pulls away from the embrace a bit to gesture at himself, “is not a reflection of you. My, ah, abandonment issues are my own problem, stemming from things that you were not the cause of. And you’re very consistent, actually,” he pouts when Rantaro snorts, “so I don’t need to hear that. I missed you today.”  _ And every other day that you’ve been gone,  _ his mind fills in the blank, but he doesn’t say that.

“How’re you feeling?” Rantaro asks after a moment, perhaps seeking to change the subject now that his own insecurities are under the spotlight. (Shuichi allows it to happen, though, because it’s Valentine’s Day, and he’d rather not have an intense heart-to-heart right now.) “Tired at all?”

“A bit,” Shuichi admits loosely. “Though I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep much after that nap I took.” He yawns regardless, and Rantaro’s gaze is so unnecessarily soft that he reaches out and messes up his hair. “You have no business making that face at me, I was just yawning.”

“You have kitten yawns.”

“I’ll kill you.”

Rantaro’s lips curl into a smile. “Spending too much time with Harukawa, I see.”

  
“This has nothing to do with her,” Shuichi begins indignantly. “If I kill you it’s because you made me feel cute for the last time.”

“Alright, alright,” Rantaro concedes, his chuckles petering off. Shuichi offers him a smile to show that he’s not serious, reaching out to lace their fingers together. “But seriously, how do you fancy a trip somewhere?”

“Fancy? Are we British?”

“Answer the question, Sherlock.”

Shuichi huffs out a laugh. “Depends, where would we be going?”

“I think telling you that would ruin the surprise,” Rantaro grins. “You might have to trust me on this one.”

It isn’t as though there are classes tomorrow, anyway. There are usually classes on Saturdays, but the day after Valentine’s Day? When he was asked, Headmaster Kirigiri laughed and said,  _ I’m optimistic, not naive,  _ and said classes might as well be cancelled for how few people would be attending them. Even if there were classes, though, Shuichi would be perfectly willing to skip them if it means some time with Rantaro. They don’t get enough of it. “Alright, then.” Shuichi says, quietly. He leans forward again, brushing his nose against Rantaro’s. “We’ll need to stop by my room first, though. My present for you is in there.”

“You didn’t have to--” Rantaro starts to say.

For the second time tonight, Shuichi utilises kissing as a means of making Rantaro stop talking. He would usually prefer not to, actually. Any physical methods of shutting people up usually feel smothering, and kissing especially. But the necklace Rantaro got him bumps against his chest as it swings back and forth between them. There’s no way Shuichi is going to hear that.

When he pulls away, Rantaro says thickly, “Point received.”

“Let’s go, then,” Shuichi slides out of his seat and stretches his arms over his head. The sweatshirt Rantaro gave him slips out of his lap and onto the carpet, but before he can pick it up Rantaro grabs it for him and hands it over. Shrugging, Shuichi undoes the zipper and pulls it on. It’s a bit big, but Shuichi likes his hoodies to be bigger. And it smells strongly of Rantaro’s detergent.

“You look good in black,” Rantaro remarks.

“I should hope so, it’s all I wear,” Shuichi smiles, and glances away to try to hide his pleasure at having been complimented. Rantaro’s lips against his forehead tell him that he was unsuccessful. Not that he particularly cares.

It’s hardly even Valentine’s Day anymore by now. (Shuichi turns off the fire and puts his cup to the side to clean it later, resting it beside the case file he was working on. He didn’t get a lot of work done, but whatever. He’ll finish it tomorrow, maybe.) It’s dark outside, as evidenced by the lack of sunlight flooding through the windows. Without the fireplace, though, the room is dark, and so the only light source is from streetlamps outside. And Rantaro’s eyes are bright regardless.

“Thank you,” Shuichi murmurs again. Rantaro turns to look at him, from where he was tidying up the chair where Shuichi dozed off, and raises his eyebrows.   
  
“For what? For coming? Because I--”

“No, just--” Shuichi pauses, then reaches out to kiss him for the third time. This one is the shortest, but the sweetest, chaste and lingering. Rantaro’s smile is soft. “Just for, y’know. Everything.”  _ I love you.  _ He’ll say it sometime soon.

And then Rantaro initiates the kiss this time, first pressing one to Shuichi’s forehead and the bridge of his nose, then the tip and both of his cheeks before finally settling on his lips. “‘Course.” He smiles and intertwines their fingers again, squeezing gently. “Anything for you.”

Shuichi decides it’s not blind optimism if he believes it.

**Author's Note:**

> this: is not femslash february
> 
> but here i am anyway :3 it's getting closer to 1am and i have zero regrets
> 
> god i've missed these two. love them so much.
> 
> it's about the intimacy... and the communication..... and i will not let you guys turn shuichi into a nervous wreck who is jumpy for the rest of his goddamn life jesus his anxiety isn't even his defining character trait i hate this fucking fandom sometimes
> 
> let them be happy and comfortable goddamnit they don't call me the amasai gal for nothin'
> 
> real shit, happy valentine's day. love y'all


End file.
